Realist Job Seeker T-Shirts

Next time you apply for a job you might think about pretending to be someone else

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'Don't worry about your job at the office, Sweetie. They declared bankrupty today.'

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

"It's a Wonderful Life" if it was written by scientists.

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

"We end our Newscast with a happy story tonight."

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

"...Everyone you meet on the way up, you'll meet again on the way down."

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

Someone loses his pension.

"Now at this point reality intruded."

"Ambitions... to retire on full pay and just go fishing."

"The bad news is that we've had to cut most of the services. . . The good news is that we can now tell people in 23 languages what we don't do anymore!"

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"...I thought I was too smart, too idealistic to end up this way, but LOOK at me! I've become an entrenched bureaucrat!"

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

The Dungeon

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

Yesterday was the first day of the rest of your life: 'The pay is good, but the pressure here...'

'Let's enrol on the last one. We've more chance of getting a job doing that these days.'

"I understand that you've been demanding more vacation time. . . so we've decided to let you have the rest of your life off."

"Did you make the short list?"

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"It's no good, Martin, it's still in the room."