Real World Skeptics T-Shirts

"I don't think you're being realistic."

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'Love gets the credit, but business makes the world go round.'

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

"No religious nuts!"

Virtual Reality Shop. I think our business here will expand as actual reality becomes more and more unbelievable.

Tunnel of Love.

"Well, yes. It was love at first sight. But only because I was drunk at the time."

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

Advertising hoarding proposing marriage (which is rejected).

'It's a Surgeon-General's warning.'

'Everytime I kiss him he says he can't breathe.'

"What do you want to do for Valentine's Day?"

"Hon, this is Mr Atherton. He's going to show us how we can commercially exploit our marriage."

Akron, oh, you're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I'm thinking of not signing up for health insurance this year. Good idea. In my day, there was no such thing as health insurance. If you got sick, you paid for it with either money or chickens. That's if you were a lily-livered coward who just had to see a doctor. When great-great-grandmother Cohen had her sixth heart attack, she just applied a poultice made of chestnut leaves and flour and kept on plowing.

Boss: 'Speak up Smythe, I know you've got an opinion, I told you what it was in my email this morning!'

The first meeting.

'From what I've been hearing about it, I'm not sure I want a grip on reality.'

"Podcasts, blech. It's like eavesdropping without the intrigue."

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

“The children claimed to love nature, even as they warmed themselves by roasting the dismembered limbs of the tree’s mother.”

"The test results are conclusive. He doesn't have a romantic bone in his body."

"I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death."

'He's a very good doctor, and I trust him, but I must confess that I always double check his diagnosis on Google.'

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

"I'm sorry - till when do us part?"

Get rich today with cold fusion tomorrow! Invest now!: 'More like con - fusion! He's a con artist!'

Agnostics Society: Absolute worst place to ask for directions.

Go to meeting, Zoom, remote learning, embeddable video, skypting. . . and you still haven't mastered your VCR.