Real Life Learning Gifts

"This work experience thing has been a real insight into life after school…I've been made redundant."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

“It's a tree, sweetie. No need to Google it.”

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"Better luck next time, kid."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"I learned one thing today. Attitude trumps aptitude!"

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

"Well, I'm just saying, buying me a cheap used car for graduation is not going to teach me responsibility."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

University of Hard Knocks

'Well, that does not yet look like a wall. Try it again, Liam!'

"Baldo, credit cards are a terrible idea! Take it from someone who has 10 of 'em."

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"

"We all make mistakes. That's why pencils have erasers!"

'What did you learn at university today?'

Moral Values for Dummies

Balloons Experiment

Be prepared - Don't jump to confusion.

'Remember, Junior, if at first you don't succeed...come up with a good exit strategy.'

Smart people learn from experience - other peoples'.

"Does school really help people with real life?"

'False alarm! I'm back. It was only a career suicide.'

"Don't think of it as being grounded. Think of it as suffering the consequences of your monumental stupidity."

'So, just how long were you at the School of Hard Knocks?'