Reading Western Novels Pillows

Cowboy legend # 37: Jack Valance.

'Anyone here answer to the name 'The Eldorado Kid'?'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Meet the author"

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'Who do you think you're kidding, Slim? — the ruby slippers are a dead giveaway!'

All-Verbal Westerns

The Comfiest Hombre in the West

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

Louis L'Amour hones his craft.

"Billy the kiddy!"

Brewery Lorry has Saloon Doors.

"Who are you callin' a low down snake-in-the-grass? That's upright snake-on-a-barstool to you, mister."

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

'Look! Fat George must be back in town!'

"Whoever said you can drive a horse to water, but you can't make him drink? (hiccup)

"Giddyup."

Lorne Greene

'I counted six shots! Rush him before he can reload!'

"Watch yourself, stranger. I've got an itchy trigger finger."

"If there are nuggets in the sluice, let's dine out tonight."

Western Philosophy

'It's what we were afraid of, Virgil. Someone's selling guns to the Indians.'

"I provided the comic relief and said all the right things like 'Yee haw!' And 'You got that right, boss!' . . . But he ditched me anyway!"

Richard Widmark

'Hello, Stranger. Hello' even Stranger.'

Gustave Flaubert

'Oh my God! It's Billy the Squid...!'

"You tetched? The Kid'll plug more than your novel!"

They knew it was just a matter of time before he spilled the beans.

"The rumors were true - you're the slowest gun in the West."

"If I don't get to shoot somebody soon, I'm going to have to shoot somebody."

"Alright, if Outlaw A is 6 foot 2, 220 punds and Outlaw B is 6 foot 4, 245 pounds, is Town C in fact big enough for the both of em?"

"You're kidding! I thought it was one-bandolier Friday."