Reading Medical Comics Pillows

'That rash on your stomach is a telltale sign of mercury poisoning.'

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

'I apologize, Mr. Wilson, that scream wasn't very professional of me. . . But that IS one ugly growth on your chest!'

Prostate Exam Second Opinion

'Our Anesthesiologist resigned recently.'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

Orthopaedist

Quick! 5-second rule!

'...Better clear my schedule too.'

"Hi! My name is Kevin, and I'll be your doctor today."

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

Lazy Doctor

'What seems to be the problem?' - 'I've got bubonic plague.' - 'Okay... so what symptoms do you have?' - 'Well, I feel chilly and I had a muscle cramp. They're both symptoms of plague.' - 'I hate Wikipedia.' - 'It says here that you should prescribe...'

'Now, don't panic, but I'd like you to take off all your clothes so we can burn them.'

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

Golf cart in the hospital.

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"The 'intervention' got out of hand."

"While I'm not an internist...I'd say you coughed up your small intestines!"

'For Valentine's Day!'

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

"Please have a seat over by the door, sir - We're looking for a volunteer to examine you."

"Now where was I?"

"In hospital I received ten 'get well soon' cards...from the nurses."

"If it wasn't for my Hippocratic oath, you'd be dead by now."

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

'His heartbeat has been like that ever since he had the pig valve installed.'