Reading Guidebooks T-Shirts

'According to the travel guide this is supposed to be where an attractive Greek maiden sits selling flowers.'

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

Flyfishing for dummies.

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"All the celebrities come here."

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

'Sorry I'm late everybody,I got lost.'

'You're looking in the wrong section.'

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

Manual Worker

"I'm referring you to a specialist."

A Woman Holds Up a TV Guide.

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

"You are Here" sign on mountain.

The Catkins Diet

'We're looking for new, original thinkers...people who can think 'outside the box'...'

'KEEPING UP in practice simply means knowing which drug the FDA has withdrawn.'

"The guru us out. That's a link to Wikipedia."

"What do you care what other people think? Just run zig-zaggy."

Apparently, there are manuals, and then there are MANUALS.

Public Meetings: 'If you check the guide it's clear that you only need to say 'chair'.'

"Everest summit 1 km merge left"

On a mountain top a sign says - Out to lunch back a week from Tuesday.

The new contract will give you much more power over your future...so here are some guidelines as to how you'll be allowed to use it!'

Tour of Cathedrals.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. Let me do it."

'Best guide I ever had.'

Small print in sex manual giving woman a headache

James Naismith

"Step 1: Find Someone Who Knows How To Read Instructions, Dave."