Reading Editorials Gifts

"It's the liberals' fault!. . . It's just too much fun watching their heads explode."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

Fear of news.

"As you can see from the books behind me, I pretend to read a lot of books."

A great new year (for cartoonists).

NeighWoof.

"I'll have my article pulled together in no time."

Editor. Short. Sweet.

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

"Reverend John Ship performed the nuptials. Attorney Thomas Sims performed the prenuptials."

How very Independent!

"You tend to overuse the exclamation point."

"Republican striptease"

"Take us to your most influential power couple."

NY Tribune Joins NY Herald on Hobby Horse of Anti-Grant Editorials

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

NBS NEWS, 'Take this editoria, Miss Whimby, and disguise it as a news story.'

Suicide

NBS NEWS DIVISION, 'You've written a nice editorial on Sarah Palin here, but change 'said' to 'spewed,' and 'speech' to 'vitriol.''

'McWit, your poetic license expired years ago.'

"Whatever happened to freedom of the press?"

"On what planet do you imagine this would be funny?"

"You really can't look at things in a black and white perspective anymore, Especially as we said that white is the new black."

'They get worn out and you have to replace them.'

Obama: "I'm losing the daily editorial cartoonists!"

"This is just the first draft."

'We'll have to have this appendix out. . .'

Publishing

"The preceding has been an editorial and the views of that crackpot do not necessarily reflect those of this station!"