Reading Death-related Stories Pillows

'Don't look at me. I thought you locked it.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"... and the sales call was coming from inside the house!"

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

Desperate to escape 2017, a scientist built his own time machine.

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

Cat Frankenstein

"And every year on this very day...he creeps into camp and steals everyones electronics."

Bram Stoker

Young Stephen King

Edgar Allan Poe

"It was very generous of you, by the way."

"Lost My Grant - Please Help!"

Little Van Helsing was dissapointed that, again, there was no monster under the bed or in the closet.

Vampire Family Photos...

'This assignment calls for a chicken.'

'I never want to see you again.'

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

La Boheme - Mimi dies

Night of the Living Reindeer

Lover

Charging Station

"Don't miss a single word, Edgar. I am not going to dictate this poem again: once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary..."

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

'Is that some kind of a cruel joke? They're not dying, they're turning into Zombies!'

'And then, in a hideous metallic voice it growled...'

"Blood bank robbery...you?"

What a success story! It says this guy was in prison and now owns a corporation! Ah, he went from pen to inc.

'Here comes the transplant specialist now.'

"Tonight I'll tell scary internet tales by the glow of our smart phones."

"Ugh! Damn floss..."