Reaching 100 Years Old Mugs

"He said his goal was to make it to 100."

Church Basement Foodie

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

Medication for the elderly

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'They want your underwear.'

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

'Take this drug...you'll be ten years younger.'

Who's Dead

Women

Late Bloomers

'What I need now is a good publicist...'

Two years ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, My son just taught me how to use an iPad, so I am writing to tell you that doing so makes me feel young again. You might want to try it. - Nathaniel from Ontario. Thank you for helping me feel young! I may not be as spry as I was back in the old days ... but at least I've never taken two whol

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

"Looks like Mom is practicing getting her mask ready for Halloween tomorrow."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"Getting a little thin on top and dull below, eh Pop?"

'Actually, you're not having a midlife crises. It's a .723 life crises.'

"The only joints we roll these days are our ankles."

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

The Fountain of Youth.

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

'I wish I could be around when you're my age. I'd like to see that fashion statement with an adult diaper showing.'

"My son took away my license." "Too many hit and runs." "Too many birthdays?"

"I'm trying to regain me lost youth -there's a reward if you find him."

"No sir, we do not have beer here."

Time Passes...For Meaning.

"And I'll have my usual - 'Mutton dressed as lamb'!"

'I'm at the point in life where I don't care about the past, I live in the moment.'

"If it weren't for lobby security tapes I wouldn't even know I had a bald spot on the top of my head."

Queen's Birthday.