Rare Metals Collector Pillows

In these perilous times, don't you want to invest in something safe? Like gold? Don't be an idiot!!!! Gold is only safe because it's rare. Shouldn't you invest in an element that's even more rare? Like platinum? Or iridium, which is pretty much only found in outer space? DON'T BE AN IDIOT! Send Awesomecorp your hard-earned cash in exchange for compromise. The rarest element in the land. Quantities limited.

"You're on a what?!"

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"Check it out! The big Comic-Con starts this week!"

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

'That's the first nickel I took in!'

"One fine day my son, all this will be yours."

"It belonged to my great... great creepy Uncle Edgar."

'My doctor tells me I have medal poisoning.'

"Darn paparazzi."

Sports Memorabilia. It's not an autograph. It's a drawing scribbled by Mickey Mantle. A Yankee doodle!

Common Dodo!

Own a piece of history - floodwaters

"Ask Mister Buck." Our wizard of finance answers your questions. "Mist Buck, what's a 'lump sum settlement'?" That's what you get from workers' comp if you get hit on the head at work.

"Honestly I'm not sure what most of them are for."

Swiss Army General.

The Dead Sea Squirrels.

Leap Heir

'She must be the general...the one with the most bling on her chest.'

'How many times have I asked you not to bring bread and honey into the counting house!'

Strategic metals vs. non-strategic metals.

"I'm searching for cobalt, a vital part of those lithium-ion car batteries. But more important, I have to find some oats for the donkey."

'Someday, son, this can be all yours.'

Nickel-and-dimed to death.

"I had a bad review, so I'm only a 3-1/2 star general."

"This one's for not asking, and this one's for not telling."

"Am I the only guy at the table who goes back to when this stuff was two hundred and fifty dollars a bottle?"

'Wow! look how much they're getting for base metals these days.'

'How dare you! I'm outrageously rich!'

Man to rock star: 'Could you sign this CD please? It's not for me, it's to sell on eBay.'

'The jury foreman says they need more time to find the quarter they were flipping!'

"It's not quite the same."

My birthday is coming up, Lance� Have you heard the expression, "Diamonds are a girl's best friend"? There's another expression, Gloria� "A zircon in need is a zircon indeed."