Raph Life Observer T-Shirts

Ok, it's just rude to keep texting the coast guard while we're having a conversation.

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'Long shift?'

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

"I don't know how to tell you this, but it looks like you have a brain the size of a walnut."

Life and Death

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

"He was much more effective in the field."

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

"Ooh, you’ve got a little piece of retiree caught in your teeth."

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

Mice 25¢

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

Maternity Hospital

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

"Your sister got another promotion."

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

I have a video phone and I'm not afraid to use it.

"Has your mother called yet on the international situation?"

"I'm writing to mother to let her know how you're doing.Is deathbed one word or two?"

Old Yarns

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

"Well, I'll be - he cut and ran."