Raising A Child T-Shirts

"At least she's reading."

Wet Wipes: My Guilty Secret

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

"Good news. Your child buys into the change paradigm of growing up."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Bond James, Bond."

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

I like the Jets...I guess

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Madonna of the Pukes.

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"They grow up so fast."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

A young Don King