Railway Stickler T-Shirts

"Your tickets are only valid between 9:37 and 09:45 on an alternate Tuesday in a month with an 'R' in it. . . and only on the less-frequent train company. . ."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

TSA Noah

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

'Where's my glove?'

Camping with Mr. Thorough

I have a new linguistic pet peeve. It's when, instead of just saying something like, "Bob ate a sandwich," people say, "Bob, he ate a sandwich." It drives me absolutely crazy. Speaking as a psychiatrist, that's a short drive, Al.

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

Baseball player wearing a face mask.

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

Access Assessments

'Run around with sharp objects and you'll poke an eye out!'

"Why does he keep in the same players?"

'The brakes are a bit dodgy, but the very loud horn compensates for that.'

"Whoes jumping? My secretary enforces a strict 'No Smoking' policy"

D.I.Y ladder

How to write

Rare footage of a leopard changing spots.

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

'Wow! I'm trying to fix my glasses with contact solution instead of super glue!'

"May I remind the faculty that, in the event of a nuclear strike, atom bombs take a gender-neutral pronoun."

You've got to stop getting all your history from Youtube and Netflix. Why? Because those are videos. People who make videos are making entertainment. It it's entertaining that means someone's constructed story. If it's a story, that means they left out or twisted whatever doesn't logically fit their narrative as told from one point of view. Accurate history would be completely illogical. Oliver Stone would disagree.

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

'Don't you think this school has way too many fire drills?'

'No hitting below the belt.'

"I'm sure it is making work more enjoyable. However, there maybe some liability issues."

"No no no...You can kick the ball into touch, not the opposition!"

''Have you got any cockroaches?"

"The Department of Revenue and Tax? No, sorry, never heard of it before. You must have dialed the wrong number. This is the Department of Tax and Revenue."

"They loved the food and service. But they hated the font we used in the menu."

Health and Safety vs Lawyers.