Radio Shows Prints

"I'm thinking of stopping a podcast."

'If I was any more relaxed, I could host a NPR program.'

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

Desert Island Discs 2007.

Feelings towards radios #8 People worshipping a radio.

'and for my 12,307 choice I'd have the live extended version of...'

'I wish I had eight carefully selected musical discs with me right now.'

"That's not just my opinion. It also happens to be the opinion of some guy on NPR."

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Fed up in Flint," you're on. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! House of Java.net Cybercafe. I bought a dirt-cheap house in Flint, hoping to rent it out. I had it renovated, and then the day before our open-house, someone broke in and stole all our plumbing. So what?! In my day, nobody had plumbing! We did our business in a ditch down by the river and we were glad about it! List it as "vintage Americana" and quit yer complainin'! But they took the roof, too. In my day, a roof

Discussed on Car Talk

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! The Olympics. When I was a kid, the Olympics brought us all together. But now, they were a chance for us to look down on Rio, for people to condemn a medalist for not looking patriotic enough, and for a swimmer to blame the locals for his own thuggery. That's nothing. I'm just upset the men's shorts aren't as teensy as they were in yesteryear. Um ... o ... kay ...

This call may be recorded and used in a podcast.

"Well I think the Real question is..."

Sadie, how can I convince my husband that a vacation is worth paying for? Excellent question. In my day, vacations were an essential component of a successful marriage. I would get two weeks a year to don a bikini, sit on a tropical beach amidst coconuts and oiled-up cabana boys, and recharge my yelling voice. And he would stay home working and have two weeks to live in dread of my imminent return. It was a win-win situation, really. What were we talking about again? Um ... nothing. Thanks.

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? Where do you think I should invest my tax refund? That's a great question. In my day, most people would've opted to put the funds into your standard Serta, or even a newfangled Posturepedic. Those people were morons. The more forward-thinking investor knew she'd run less of a risk of bed bugs eating her fortune if she went with a La-Z-Boy. Um ... ok, ... thanks.

This is the Ask Sadie Show. You're on, caller. What's your problem? Movie critics. "Batman V Superman" was a good film. But the critics tore it apart. A lot of the criticism was petty. Like this one critic who said "Henry Cavill is the sexiest log to ever star in a movie. And Zack Snyder isn't fit to direct traffic." Hey ... I call it like I see it. Did you see it? That's beside the point.

Months ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, I think you should laugh, love, and go with the flow - and do that with gusto! Don't sweat the small stuff. Kiss all the girls. Boys or whichever you prefer, but remember to laugh. - Bob. Pervert! If we allow laughing, then we'll have to allow cackling. Maybe even guffawing. I refuse to go down

Today on the Ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: "Star Wars." Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. YOU PEOPLE TODAY HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN OF A CHIMPANZEE!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said.

Akron, OH, you're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I'm thinking of not signing up for health insurance this year. Good idea. In my day, there was no such thing as health insurance. If you got sick, you paid for it with either money or chickens. That's if you were a lily-livered coward who just had to see a doctor. When great great grandmother Cohen had her sixth heart attack, she just applied a poultice made of chestnut leaves and flour and kept plowing.

Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie "studio fees" for operating her radio show in the caf

You're on "Ask Sadie" What's your problem? I want to go back to work. But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do? You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves! If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little "Lord of the Flies"-ish, but that builds character! ... in the survivors.

This is Dr. Sadie. What's your question, caller? How do I know if a guy likes me? There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you: HE WEEPS WHEN YOU MERCILESSLY MOCK HIM AND ALL THAT HE HOLDS DEAR. It also weeds out the "men" who are afraid to cry. Thank you, Dr. Sadie.

This is Dr. Sadie. What's your question, caller? How can I tell if my cold is really bronchitis? Stop yer sniveling. In my day, a body would hope it was bronchitis. It gave you a chance to prove your grit! Nothing like a touch of burning pain, wheezing, and crackling in the chest to separate the women from the girls. What kind of doctor are you, again?

Two years ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Many of you took the time to send her heartfelt advice, which Sadie publicly mocked, belittled and summarily rejected, while calling into question the IQ and, in one case, the parentage, of her listeners. Since then, Mrs. Cohen has completed her mandatory anger management course. She humbly requests that you all try anew to send her adv

What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? What's with that senseless riot in Baltimore? What do you mean? America has a long history of self-destructive riots in response to police brutality. It's senseless to call it senseless. A city is like a human body. If you feed a body an awful diet of abuse and unaccountable cops, that body's eventually going to have a massive coronary. In short: Learn your history! And eat oatmeal! Oat ... What? What are you talking about?

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, My mother doesn't want me to get a tattoo, but I disagree. I believe that a tattoo would be very attractive. What do you think? - Jessica, rebellious daughter. *(Actual reader letter). Is this serious? Is this a real letter? They're all real. I am stunned. Stunned? What is wrong with children? Defying their mothers? Do you know what would happen if we had defied our parents like that? What? They'd have sent us to live in the old country with our illiterate cousins who left

"Hey, pal, I'm on a break."

It's the Dr. Sadie Advice Hour. "John Smith" in Hollywood, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java.net Cybercafe. If I cooked a ... cake ... and then hackers got mad and broke into my system and caused havoc, and so I withdrew the ... cake ... from the market, how could I regain my image as a bold ... cake ...maker? Is "John Smith" your real name?! A bold ... cake ... maker would use his real name. Your show doesn't air in North Korea, does it?

Welcome to the Ask Sadie Show, Christmas-Eve eve edition. First caller is Rudolph, from the North Pole. You're on, Rudolph. What's your problem?! ... And before you speak, let me just remind everyone that I spent ten years as a detective specializing in tracking down prank callers and mercilessly destroying their self-esteem. Click. I will ruin you, "Rudolph"!

It's the Dr. Sadie advice hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking nothing but Christmas-related calls. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You're on, Vancouver. What's your problem?! I'm an atheist. How come there's no national holiday for that? There is! It's called "Christmas"! The ads and the marketers have sucked everything religious out of it. Nothing in the Bible says "thou shalt shop." Good point.

Vancouver, you're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Would you people please stop saying you're "moving to Canada"? We Canadians pride ourselves on not being the United States. We can't keep doing that if half the United States moves up here. That's it ... We're coming next Tuesday. We'll be moving in right next door to you and playing loud music at all hours. If you think America will abide being told what to do, you don't understand America. If you move to Canada, Canada's moving to the Nor

Akron, you're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! My son is a shiftless goof-up who couldn

You're on, caller. What's your problem? My baby won't stop crying. How do I get her to stop? What do you mean, "get her to stop"? Your baby's a human being and she already has things she wants to tell you. Crying is the only language she knows. Just hold her, tell her "I hear you" ... ... AND GROW A THICKER SKIN! BABY TEARS AREN'T LITTLE GRENADES, LOSER! I wish she'd just text me like everyone else.

"Sorry. I was listening to Car Talk during surgery."