Race Number Collector T-Shirts

"By the time I got my race number it was over."

Interdisciplinary studies.

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"Do you buy cars here?"

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

'God's speed.'

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'We started wearing name tags to rell who's who, unfortunately we all like the name 'Kevin,!'

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'He's just come back from another management training course.'

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

'Thanks to a little genetec engineering, we can merchandise these fish right on the farm.'

Acme Flyswatters.

James May

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

'Well, do you want to sign up or not?' - 'Um...yes and no.'

Florida Golf.

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

"Do you have anything smaller?"

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1,273,426 steps."

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'