Raccoon Humorist T-Shirts

"No, there's no contract or anything. It's a mutual understanding. I'm his pet and he's my master."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

A Copy Editor and His Dog

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

Football Chameleon

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

'Jurassic Pork.'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"The Eggsorcist"

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Yes, one is a dog."

Hats and Food

"Scuba cow"

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

Dogs life

Cats at private view

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"