Quotable Enthusiasts Prints

"Only two things are certain – death and food."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Caption contest"

Pile of books for sale with sign: Expired Fifteen-Minutes-of-Fame Books.

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

'I inherited therefore I am'

Lancelot put to the Test.

Proof you've made it Loud Annoying The voices raised against you

"Wait a minute... You're not Warren Gurkenman the famous actor, but his stuntman?!"

"I'm very proud. Someone I've been stalking has been nominated for an Academy Award."

'To me! Let's party.'

"I wish I had his I.Q.!"

"Boy, that Isaac Newton is one smart cookie!"

"Thank you for coming into the studio tonight, your story is truly a fascinating one, however I've decided our time would be better spent reviewing my meteoric rise to celebrity status within this television network."

'Actually I never had any desire to go into that field until they built this fence.'

"I'll just sit here looking important - then no one will notice that I can't reach my desk."

"No, I'm afraid that doesn't count."

"When I grow up, I'm gonna be a rich celebrity!"

IRS: 'Life isn't fair.' - John F. Kennedy

'I'd love to be in Who's Who.'

Overnight Sensation

'Of course he answered you with a form letter -- you expect rock stars to know how to write?'

Fisherman takes home the mermaid he caught.

"Let me try that!"

"If he's so smart, why does he have to sell his sperm?"

"Not many swords in tonight..."