Quit-smoking Journeyer T-Shirts

"I'm down to five a day with this new brand."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

'I'm thinking of having a gastric band fitted to my cigarettes.'

'The nicotine patch should get you off the nicotine gum.'

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

"Bye! good luck with the 'stop smoking 'campaign!"

Alcohol and Tobacco Danger

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

'When you put on a new nicotene patch you're supposed to take the old ones off!'

'There you are - it works!'

Man covered in patches - "That's the worst smoking habit I've ever seen."

'It's a side effect of giving up smoking.'

"I see you went to the hypnotherapist"

The trouble with trying to quit smoking.

'I couldn't give up fags, so I've started drinking long-life milk.'

'I don't understand why people say I'm having trouble quitting.'

Smokers.

'Oh man, I should really give up smoking!'

"When I count to three you will have given up smoking but you will think you are Elvis Presley."

"There's nothing wrong with my eye. It's a nicotine patch."

He had tried many ways to quit smoking but only one worked.

I'm giving you a prescription for hard-to-remove stop smoking patches. Place one over the opening of every pack of cigarettes you buy.

'This nicotine patch is guaranteed to make you stop smoking.'

'If you stop smoking now, you will add three years to your life. Since you are a lawyer, that's about six thousand billable hours.'

'It took her three months to quit smoking and five years to quit talking about quitting.'

'I don't smoke. My doctor told me I need to get outside more.'

The Surgeon General's Army

'How can I lose weight? Do something every day thats gets you out of breath. Ok, I'll start smoking again.'

' I've been trying to quit...At least I'm down to just two cigarettes a day.'

'I quit smoking weeks ago but Bruno didn't want to go along with the program.'

'Right, where do I start?'