Quirky Verdict Collector Pillows

'For attempted hijacking, I hereby sentence you to nothing but airplane food for the next twenty years.'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Raincloud Umbrella

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Best before 65 million BC.

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

Ice shelfie.

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

Dog selling toilet water on front lawn

"Things are looking up!"

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

It's great for pulling the birds!

Inflating Boobs.

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'