Quirky Vacation Planner Pillows

"Typical! We've got this place to ourselves just because people are too lazy to climb a few stairs!"

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"Actually, I hear my boss. I'm on a working vacation."

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

"If we'd gone South for the winter, we'd be back by now."

"It looks brighter over there!"

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

Climate change

Vacation Time: Hither, Thither, Yon.

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

'People are staring at us because they've never seen private box seats at an off broadway theatre before.'

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

"Every summer I regret having used up all my vacation days in January."

Newton's vacation

"Make a note, Ellen—one Speedo, size 54."

"Check our website sir. It clearly says bed in breakfast."

The bulb family leaves for vacation

'A lab had me smoking cigarettes for months. I'm living off my disability payments. You?'

"I predict six more weeks of winter...But I'm sure we'll tough it out."

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

"Did you pack your own bags?"