Quirky Renovator Mugs

"We're thinking Shag Carpet. I'm tired of hardwood floors."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'I found the termites!'

Filet minion

Do it yourself books.

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Pinata Trophies

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

The Hammer

"Can that be right?"

Yard Sale

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

Frankenstein's Reading Light

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

"I like that everything is mismatched. I just think it could be mismatched better."

'It's a coffee-book table.'

"I'll bet there's a story there."

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

Lad to man behind desk: 'I notice your fish is 10 times larger than your picture of me!!'

'I wasn't to know it's a live shell officer, we've been using it as a door-stop for years!'

Beware of the Lawn