Quirky Reminder Collector Gifts

Jeremy got more than he bargained for with his new memory foam mattress.

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

Your computer has every alert, alarm and reminder possible...enough with the sticky notes!!!

God's Sticky Notes

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

Cat hunting in a cuckoo clock.

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Dog Calenders.

Tree's Tree Nursery. Get this. Dad is selling those goofy upside-down tomato planters. What idiot would buy them? Thanks! I'll let you know how it works! My idiotic bio teacher.

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

Elderly gent keeps his hip in a bottle

Pigeon Memos

"You have such beautiful eyes."

Migrating Cuckoo Clock

Who Typexed out the grass?

'Do you have one that plays the theme from Godzilla?'

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

"You should have said you only wanted a trim. . . I'd have sent you to the barber next door."

'Wow! The earache I've had for three weeks is gone!'

Valentines for Things

Evolution...the modern-brush fox.

For the new gardener.

'Relax Mrs Flanagan, I've never known a high fibre exorcism to fail yet!'

"That's a nasty cavity. That is why it is so important to brush your hair."

Happy birthday to you!

'Do you have one that plays the theme from Godzilla?'

Funky Facts: A Baby Koala is called?

'Re-gifting has become socially acceptable, dear, but re-carding is going a little too far.'

"...while 86 million prefer grilled cheese, and 57.4 million of them like mustard on it."

'Go away. I'm not buying any of your junk.'

'We've been offered NATO membership.'

'I almost forgot...Happy Birthday!'

Happy Xmas

'You have to admit it's kind of cute. They sent you a valentine subpoena.'

"Do you have a white on the fruity side, with maybe a possum on the label?"