Quirky Question Enthusiast Mugs

"Apropo of nothing, would you still love me if I were a sausage?"

And then, on the dusty shores of the Gitche Gumee, the age old question of who would win a fight between a narwhal and a wildebeest was finally answered.

'If Margaret, who had two children by her first marriage and one by her second, marries George, who has one child by his first marriage...'

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

Football Crazy strip six

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

Ostrich Curoisities

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

Children's questions

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

'I always answer their questions with a question - it drives them nuts!'

Curious George, Dad

That Pesky 'Why' Chromosome.

"Stop asking so many questions, or it's right back to Books on Tape for you."

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

'It helps to be a little crazy to work here, but you're overqualified.'

"Is there a section at the bottom for comments?"

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

"The inspector's not getting older. He's getting odder."

Frequently Asked Questions

Circus News

Wow! — this discredits all my theories.

Square peg in a round hole: 'I say if it feels right, do it.'

'How can he have an attention deficit when he has so many nice things to hold his attention?'