Quirky Predictions Appreciator T-Shirts

'You will spend the winter shoveling snow.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Animal worries.

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

"You should consider buying."

Locally Grown Stocks, Farm Fresh CDs, Free Range Annuities.

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'Finzter, our newest investment adviser, believes that money can make you happy.'

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

Stock Market Psychology: 'Buy with the leftside of your brain, sell with the rightside!'

'One look at you and I thought 'footsie world stock fund.''

Gracie's Halloween Candy Exchange.

"In my family we're forbidden from mentioning my uncle...he made his money with cat food stocks!"

'How about a romantic caper about two lost souls who meet and find happiness investing in mutual funds.'

'I'm doomed anyway, so I may as well make the most of it...'

Low-Rent Stockholders

"That guy is incredible! He's coaxed the fish to invest 20,000 bucks...in catfood stocks!"

'The first step toward wisdom is accepting that no one knows exactly when to 'buy low' and 'sell high'.'

'That one is for folding money.'

"Are you binge watching again?"

Deadpan Delivery.

'I see a short, fair, ugly man coming into your life.'

'Preston is one of a new, young breed of brokers. When stocks, drop, his pants drop.'

Cat Quotations Stockholders Meeting.

'No, but next week, the fireworks start in earnest.'

Ron adopted an unorthodox approach to making investment decisions.