Quirky Office Mates T-Shirts

'Botox.'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

"Stan, it's come to my attention that you have been creeping people out at work."

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

Call Your Office

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

'Your loyalty to the company is exemplary, Potter, but we'll have to let you go if you can't stop chewing up the conference room furniture!'

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

Cow with Hay In Tray and Milk Out Tray.

'One small point,Perkins-we don't STAMP on the sell-by dates here!'

Much to the surprise of all his colleagues, Gavin concluded the lunchtime presentation on company expansion with a rather eccentric song and dance act.

"This one is less distracting."

Toilet Tissue Typist.

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

Working from home.

Play Ball!

"All staff are equal...but some are more equal than others!"

'The printer repair guy.'

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"

'May I play through please?'

"Al's a little careless, but he is our best salesman."

'Hey, Henderson, still got your brains in your butt? Ha! Ha!'

"Your vacation is over, deal with it!"

A Paper Shredder Prototype.

You don't have to be crazy to work here. WE CAN TRAIN YOU.

'Believe me, McFarland, I can appreciate a man who marches to the beat of a different Drum, but you don't march, you boogie!'

Pneumatic seat raised through roof.

"I enjoy the pearls of folksy wisdom as much as the next guy, but what, exactly, does he do around here?"