Quirky Nickname Fan T-Shirts

'I wish you'd stop calling me Babe!'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Introducing...Anagraman.

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'Check out the old dude.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"Do you do much walking?"

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

The Pencil and Sharpener

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

Hot cross buns

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

Mouse with a cat cake.

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"

'I like the litter box...but the pool has gotta go !'