Quirky Nickname Fan T-Shirts

'I wish you'd stop calling me Babe!'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Introducing...Anagraman.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Social Distancing Club

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

'Check out the old dude.'

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"Do you do much walking?"

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

The Pencil and Sharpener

Hot cross buns

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

An Extraordinary Pointer

Crash Test Dummy Blues

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

Mouse with a cat cake.

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'