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"I'd like to impress my girlfriend's parents."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"You left this on our ship."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Astral Projection

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"You're never home."

He wanted a different one.

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'Can I have flies with that'

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

"Of course I've been drinking!"

Cow Cong vs Toilet Rolls.

"Barnes is morphing into some kind of strange creature. I warned him about eating out of the vending machines."

Litter Tray Stonehenge

Relaxing in front of a fire.

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

Sir Isaac Newton wondered how he couldexplain this! (Pineapple)

Toenail clipping missile.

'There's a software glitch. The drones have built a hive and are trying to make honey.'

Clearing the castle's moat.

Crane fishing

Dogs looking at a fire hydrant in an art gallery.

'No, thanks. My folks won't let me get any piercings, yet.'