Quirky Homeowners Prints

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Beware of the Lawn

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

Mouse real estate!

A cock up of builders

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

'We live in a designer trainer.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

'If you promise to never try to open the locked attic door, the owner will take $20,00 off!'

"Occasionally he lobs a brick at the cat."

Carpet salesman, "There's a bit of tyre damage, but not so anyone would notice."

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'He missed a 5-foot putt for eagle last year, so he had an exact replica of the green build into the yard.'

"How about supper in the tub tonight, Hon?"

"When you said you lived in a fishbowl, I just assumed you never got out."

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

Homes of the font designers

"Careful in the bathroom—we just had it reimagined."

Junk Mail Shredder.

'Stu and I joined the Adopt-A-Highway program.'

'Mr. Jones? I've found a house that fits your funds perfectly! It even has a little garden!'

"Is it right on the lagoon?"

'Problems finding good, affordable housing?'

An Englishman's home is his sand castle.

'Hope I'm not catching you with a bird in the bath, Harold?'

Father-in-law - Break glass in case of emergency

"I decided to buy a tiny house."