Quirky Healthcare Seeker Prints

Acupuncture Chart

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

'...Sure, I can tell you how to prevent getting old...You can lie about your age...You can smoke...And you can drive drunk...'

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

Plastic Surgery

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

Your insurance doesn't cover leeches, but some patients are reporting good outcomes with the escargot.

It's not a tongue depressor, it's a used popsicle stick. If you can name the flavor, your taste buds pass the test.

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

'With the added weight on their chests, donors can give a pint of blood at a time.'

Obstetrician's office: Innies and Outies.

"Odd - you have bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, and some cholesterol that wonders why everyone can't just get along."

"Please tell me you just ate a bucket of eels."

'I keep getting this RINGING in my ears!'

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

'Who would like a little judo chop while you're waiting?'

Patient to pharmacist: 'So, is it contagious?'

More priceless words of encouragement from the old man.

"Every time I go on a diet, he brings up the land of milk and honey."

Dr. Potato Head

This might sting a little.

"Take him home, have sex...Then bite his goddamn head off."

"The doctor is ready to maltreat you now!"

'It's kidney stones.'

Man in hospital hitting golf balls into a bedpan.

'I was skeptical at first, but it really works.'

The high fibre diet