Quirky Giftees Mugs

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

Cheeze Wiz.

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

Easter Island Cheeseheads

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Ball as water-melon.

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

A watch face with Stonehenge

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Customer entering bank that is touting number of toasters given away

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

Where Deviled Eggs come from

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

Santa's Helpers

"Roadkill cookies"

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

A baby using a heavy duty drill

"Pass that."

'We may need to remove your spleen because it might not be doing whatever it is the spleen does.'

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

Regifts of the Magi

Celebrity Phrenologist.

International House of Excrement

"What seems to be the problem?"