Quirky Garden Curator Mugs

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Crane Game. Ball Game.

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

Gianni Tatti's Dining-Room Chair

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"Bootsy has welcomed the vacuum robot into our home in her own unique way."

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

Industrial Beautification van

Planting Bird Seed.

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

"I can't believe I went so long without A.C."

E-commerce for shoplifters.

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

'I tried to tell him I didn't think it was a tomato.'

'My God, you're right - they are all back issues of TV guide.'

Cactus Man.

"The cat was there."

Football fan

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

Clown watering his flowers.

Private View.

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

'You always have to be different, don't you?'

Man with a sunflower head watering flowers with human faces.