Quirky Complimenter T-Shirts

"You don't look a day over 30,000."

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

Scientist with test tube.

Love is Love

'Oh, wow, you found my science project and it works!'

Thank you for not asking how my experiment is coming along.

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

Gracie invents a smart spray from her science kit.

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"The hardest part was teaching him to use the hedge trimmers."

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

'You say Merezenski did the exact same experiment, but did Merezenski add chocolate syrup at this point?'

"Lots of people have writing partners..."

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

'And to think that only yesterday I was a lonely scientist and you were a failed experiment!'

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"