Quirky Compatibility Seeker T-Shirts

"Look, Sis, this new dating site even matches you to men who prefer low to normal TV volume."

Love at First Sight

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

Lumbar support animal

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"Are we sexually compatible? Well, we both get headaches at the same time..."

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

"Well, Arnold, it's been fun."

"This is the last time I let anyone fix me up with a blind date!"

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

A businessman watches as a girl walks past carrying a balloon with his face on it.

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"I'm after something different from the traditional hexagonal architecture. Is that something you can design?"

'The Girl Who Can't Say No Meets The Boy Who Won't Grow Up'

"You owe us more than your house is worth. One of our depositors will be moving in with you to help even things out."

'And to think that only yesterday I was a lonely scientist and you were a failed experiment!'

Symbiotic Connections

Date night between a Capricorn and Sagittarius.

"Vending machine is junk. For $1.00 I'll beat on it for you."

Face painting vs bottom painting

Air fresheners being pumped into the city's sewers.

Psychiatrist with phrenology chart, reads bumps on head.

"Mom, Dad, this is Eddie, my heart's shaman!"

"How about wearing heavier shoes?"