Quirky Compatibility Seeker T-Shirts

"Look, Sis, this new dating site even matches you to men who prefer low to normal TV volume."

Love at First Sight

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

Lumbar support animal

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

Romance is more difficult for robots than it is for people. Sure, we can check for compatibility by comparing operating systems but until battery technology improves, all our relationships will be on-again, off-again. Worst of all, we can't handle passion. When the sparks are flying a romance blowup will follow.

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

"Are we sexually compatible? Well, we both get headaches at the same time..."

"Well, Arnold, it's been fun."

"This is the last time I let anyone fix me up with a blind date!"

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

'The Girl Who Can't Say No Meets The Boy Who Won't Grow Up'

"Hmm....who's this tall drink of water?"

A businessman watches as a girl walks past carrying a balloon with his face on it.

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

"I'm after something different from the traditional hexagonal architecture. Is that something you can design?"

"You owe us more than your house is worth. One of our depositors will be moving in with you to help even things out."

'And to think that only yesterday I was a lonely scientist and you were a failed experiment!'

Symbiotic Connections

Face painting vs bottom painting

Date night between a Capricorn and Sagittarius.

"Vending machine is junk. For $1.00 I'll beat on it for you."

"Very nice, but what's the thread count?"

Air fresheners being pumped into the city's sewers.

"Mom, Dad, this is Eddie, my heart's shaman!"

"You know, Estella's pretty cool."