Quirky Comedy Buff Mugs

Cat fight club.

Unlikely Fly Scenario

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

"You left this on our ship."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

Glance Exchange

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

Astral Projection

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

Optimist

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

"It's just a tree."

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth