Quirky Business Practice Fan T-Shirts

'He's notorious for pushing the envelope.'

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"Mr. Wilson? I'm Dr. Bradshaw. Please come in."

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

"Do you have a family history of this condition?"

'Extreme acupuncture.'

"I'm sorry, but he's having his teeth filed to needle-sharp points. Can I take a message?"

'Shred that last mental note I gave you.'

Need to celebrate? we will pour ice water on you, only $27.50!

Advantages of being bald # 1 - Freshly Squeezed Grapefruit Juice

"I'm not technically a quote-unquote lawyer, but I do own a paper shredder and have visited several prisons."

'Welcome aboard, Gridley ? this will be your desk.'

'Get rid of those shoes, or I will never jog with you again.'

Serious Competition: Thingymajigs vs Watchamacallits.

'He certainly knows how to make a customer feel welcome.'

'This is the Executive Assistants' warmup room.'

'This could be a new record!'

'How soon can you start?'

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, I have encountered a "close-talker" at work who always stands about five or six inches from my face while talking to me. Unfortunately, this close-talker is my boss. How can I get her to stop doing this without shooting my career in the foot? - Charlotte in Austin. Excellent question. It takes me back. The year was 1938. I spent months tracking down the elusive grizzly bear of the Ozark

'...he's teaching me air guitar.'

"These humans are WEIRD! - They pick up our poop; carefully tie it up into little bags and then throw it into the nearest bush. . . !"

'Quite frankly,Jefferson, we like our people to wobble a little'

Asian Man shows chiropodist curled up toes, due to wearing curled up shoes.

"Something tells me he won't show up in traffic court."

Hospital Sign: Admissions, Outpatient, Drive Thru.

Armstrong, I'm not qualified to give you dating advice. When it comes to that stuff, I'm the WORST. Why not ask Randy? Because Randy's advice is as good as it gets. There's nothing to improve on, so it's a bad investment. But if someone gives me glaringly bad advice, I can easily spot the errors, correct them, and compile it all into a best-selling advice book. Dating tip #1: Dating is not an investment. Beautiful. Keep 'em coming.

"Okay lets close up. Oooh wait...wishbone!"

ACME repairs 'we can fix anything'

'Yes, this is my home office. Why do you ask, honey?'

Monk's Muffler Shoppe.

Hi, I'm Rolf Fusco, President of "Men Without Borders." My card.

'He can't stand the sight of blood.'

"Some gum."