Quirky Applicant Prints

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

'This test doesn't understand me.'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

Urine Catcher

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

"Any other skills?"

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

"I didn't raise my hand. I was just stretching."

'My resume,...in rap form!'

"...and I'm proficient in two languages ? English and text messaging."

Essay Paper.

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

Boss has 'will you marry me, Ingrid?' sign and says, 'Fax this until you get a yes.'

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'

"I don't mind your acting as your own attorney, but would you please stop hopping on and off that damned chair?"

'You'll need a better credit rating before we can give you a credit card?'

'...No it's Malcom from ***** after someone with autocad experience in elecro-mechanical design.'

'We need someone to walk the plants.'

"I'm deleting history so there will be nothing to study for tomorrow's history test."

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.