Quirky Antics Gifts

Colin had one of those annoying habits that was difficult to ignore.

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

"Are there treats? Just grab the treats and get outta there!"

'He's maturing early.'

Ostriches making out

The Goalkeeper

"Underweird bras."

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

'Edible food! Eeeeedible food!'

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

'It wasn't premeditated.

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

'I've got an amoeba here who wants to go to Officer's Candidate School.'

The Dancing Academy

"Here's another one about Teddy bears."

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

A seal is riding atop a great white shark!

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'It was self-defense - the clock struck first.'

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

"I owe my success to him. I figured, if he can make it, so can I."

cat singing into microphone

Dog stuck in cat flap.

"Are you aware of how many times you say 'oink' when you talk?"

'The wife has me on a strict 'O Negative' diet.'

101 uses of a dead cat: rollerskates

Microscope slide