Quippy Couch Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I'm sick and tired of listening to depressed people lying on me with thier dirty shoes!' (analyst's couch).

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Exercise vs Laxative.

Eventual Motion Machine

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

"Thanks so much for letting me crash here, I really appreciate how unassertive you are."

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

"You need the exercise, so I bought you a bigger remote."

"Comfy?"

"I'll always love you just the way I am."

"I know that in these bad times nobody is hiring and workers are still being laid off, but what will be your excuse when the economy recovers?"

"What I don't understand is why people waste their time writing when they might not get published,."

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

"I don't want to sound simplistic, but I think a smaller couch with fewer throw pillows would help this marriage a lot."

'Darling! This isn't a property programme at all! It's the view from our living room window..'

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

"There's nothing wrong with me, I just really like this couch."

American Idle

Will assuage guilt for money.

'For futher information see the collected works of Sigmund Fredu, Vol 27, pg 23.'

'Beautiful day out there, folks. Don't miss it. Complete coverage, coming up next.'

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

'After two years of therapy, I have concluded that you are a couch potato.'

"Can you give us a couple hours? We need to pretend we’re trying to find a show we both want to watch."