Quipping Queen Prints

"Bed Spread"

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Looks like another day in which. . . I have to run the world, the country, the business and the household!!!

Backfire

Miss America IQ Pageant

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

Balancing work and family

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"I had to skip my workout."

If Dr. Chan has a schoolteacher husband, a diabetic mother-in-law, twins in preschool, and a daughter who stays with her father across town on alternate weekends, and one twin and the daughter have colds, how many free rapid COVID tests are required to alleviate Dr. Chan's breaking-point levels of despair?

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

I love embroidery

'Is the water cold?'

Woman and TV.

Crotchet

Sew on a sequin!

Granny Wear

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

"Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. I've been out of the office since I got fired."

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

'No thanks; can't handle caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or number six birdshot.'

Death Watch

Wonder Woman!

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

'I live in an apartment. Do you have 'Good ApartmentKeeping'?'

Over. Under. Sideways. Kid.

"O.K., now—on three, I'm going to toss a second job in there!"

How scrapbookers see progress. ('I've been scrapbooking for ten years and I've got two pages done already!' 'Wow, you're fast!')

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

"But we had stir-fry last night and the night before."

A granny tortoise with a quilted shell.

"What town are we in??"

"Contestants, you have thirty seconds, two hundred and eighty characters, and an unfamiliar topic - can you find a way to make it all about you?"

Gordon Ramsay's Own Brand

Through the Looking Glass - Queen turned into Kitten