Quip Aficionado T-Shirts

"Ear Drums"

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Back to school.

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Bloody hell!"

Kritik's Korner

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Canadian film production

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

Moby Dick

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

Movies vs. Films

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

"What's happened to Quiche?"

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

Film Star Robert de Niro

Jim Carrey,

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

Ink in a prison made out of pens.

"I'm just not in an Australian-movie mood, O.K.?"

"Although the depiction of gangland activity in this film is not accurate over all, I would like to go on record as saying that I am not entirely displeased with Mr. Robert De Niro's portrayal of a gentleman whom I take to have been a former associate of yours truly."

'...well you say you're Stephen Hawking but as Eddie Redmayne said he was going to turn up in character we're not too sure."

Lord of the Rings IV.

Welcome to Hollywood

Cluck Norris in...LAYED in ACTION!

Orson Welles

Martin Scorsese Roasts Your Fandom