Quick Solution Enthusiasts Pillows

Man pulls on cord which leads to 'Instant Gratification'.

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

Kiwi Ingenuity

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

"Shall I kiss it better?"

Man rolling ball up a hill

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

"I'm not doubting that it does the job well. All I'm saying is that it might be a little more than is actually necessary."

"With the wearing of this mystic talisman, you will never be plagued by any of the minor ailments usually handled by over-the-counter drugs!"

This is the shortcut!

"What we really need is a long term quick fix."

Computer technicians with too little training.

'Know what? I don't feel drafts anymore.'

"When your only tool is a trebuchet, every problem looks like a siege."

"Let's be a DO tank!"

"I Hate Carrots."

'Would someone please remind me what our original intention was?'

Acme Tummy Flattening Kit

"If this meeting becomes too heated, we'll create a distraction...like running out the door."

'...the new Turbo Man Thirty Five Hundred.'

"The good news is I've found a plumber...the bad news is he's coming from China. "

"Both parents work. Neither likes to cook."

In 'n out lung transplant.

"Duct tape..."

Volcanic ash cloud held up with sticks

Liposuction Drive Thru

Sleep rinse.

'It has less to do with loneliness than with the fact that I live in a flood-prone area and I can't swim.'

Gracie tries and fails to sleep on Christmas Eve.

Problem Fixer

"I believe you're right, Lars - It is a finger!"