Quick Meal Maestro Mugs

Slow food is healthier. But who has time to cook after work? My 30-minute meals cookbook helps. I've got one for 15-minute mains. I've got one for 12-minute dishes from scratch. Hmm�Exactly when does slow food become fast food? When your last meeting ends at 6 and parents' night starts at 7 sharp.

Tartine

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

Burnt or Raw?

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'What'll it be?'

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

Licensed to grill.

WHACK!

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

A butcher and his apprentice.

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

"Fridge-to-table"

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

"Oh -- I've got one! If you could have dinner with anyone from history, living or dead, who would you have cater it?"

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

'You followed the recipie but it's missing the secret ingredient: Mom.'

"I don't like it."

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'