Quick Gratification Fan Mugs

"I always choose immediate gratification over vague rewards at some unspecified time in the future."

'The whole floor got together and came up with a few things you could work on.'

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

'He's very particular about how far we walk.'

"Fridge-to-table"

Tortoise polishing his shell

"I'm glad you like this new brand of coffee, Joni. The label said "fast-acting," but who knows what that means!"

"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."

"Ever since I said I liked creative ties, things have gotten out of hand around here."

'Now that's what I call fast food.'

Recruit Depot - Barber. That barber is fast! He knows a short-cut!

Surveillance over the suggestion box.

Street violinists unknowingly plays a concert.

Drinking Bird and Fishbowl

"I don’t know if this is just the cashews talking, but I find you absolutely delightful."

"She has to find just the right spot."

Vampire eating a 'Clot Noodle'.

Dave wanted to make sure that he'd be able to blow out all the candles on his cake.

Solar powered sunbed.

'The ref likes a good clean fight!'

Silhouettes

'Hey, all right, they got a keg.'

Virtual reality platform.

A praying mantis bride throws her husband's head to a crowd of wedding guests.

"When did the flies around here start getting tiny little airbags?"

"I was hoping my employee evaluation would be more than, 'You don't suck.'"

Train ride simulator.

'That was Larry...always trying to improve himself.'

"Promise you won't open it before Christmas?"

I'll trade you my phone for a latte. Pardon? You'll love it. It's vintage. A collector's item. It's from 1998. I bought it from a really old man in a magic shop last year. No deal. Come on! It's not like the shop vanished as soon as I left it. And it's not like I keep getting mysterious late-night calls on it from people in 1998 who keep telling me jokes I've already heard a million times. And it's not like the magic shop man told me I can only get rid of the phone by selling it or trading it. R

"I lost 15 lbs fasting!"

@Susie #you're it.

"We texted you for cookies about 10 minutes ago. We don't like to be kept waiting Amber."

"My mom really works at keeping my lunches interesting!"

'I give it three, maybe four innings before the other team complains and we get a call from the commissioner.'