Quick Chef Mugs

'Your tests indicate that you have a very short attention span -- you should be either a short-order cook or a news anchorman.'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Children's Feast.

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

Bangers and Mash

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

GMOs: The Next Generation

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

Little chef.

Stupid Microwave

Amy Sedaris

"I'm studying the effects of prolonged radiation exposure on a panzerotti."

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

"I'm making pink lemonade!"

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'You can't have a drumstick because this is roast beef.'

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

"Tastes great, less killing!"

TV Chef Cooking Range

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

'I'm so glad to hear that your teeth are falling out too, Manfred - I thought it was my mom's cooking!'

Scales

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

'What the devil is that?

'White beetroot?' 'I bleached them.'