Questionnaire Ninja T-Shirts

Random sample.

Nervous Oral Testing

"Turtling: When a child's backpack exceeds his weight"

Good Luck!

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

'Send in the next applicant Ms Jones.'

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

Meet the People of the Internet

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

"This position requires someone with a thick skin... Well, do you think you're up to the job, big nose?"

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

"Mr. Kennings was going to interview you for the job, until he heard you actually wanted to get paid."

"I've got three michelin stars, two for cookery and one for turning up to the interview!"

"Shall I put that down as a 'Don't Know' then?"

'No, I won't show you where the self-help books are!'

"I'm afraid your test results aren't good. For a start, the capital of Rwanda is Kigali and you put Nairobi."

"So why do you feel that you're a better person for the job than every other candidate who's shown me résumés with the exact same credentials?"

'This resume looks familiar. Were we once married to each other?'

'Your leaving certificate is a joke, your resume is ridiculous and your reputation scares me. You can start on Monday.'

'My ballet training comes in handy when I don't want the baby to wake up.'

"Do you have a minute for a problem whose solution has eluded humanity since the dawn of civilization?"

'This good news is that I am prepared to offer you a six figure annual salary. The bad news is that it included the decimal.'

"Now tell me about yourself in a ten second sound bite."

'Eileen, it says on your resume that you are good at multi-tasking. Can you elaborate on that for me?

"It's just another birthday. . ."

'Gutherie's a genius at clearing the paperwork - I don't know how he does it.'

'A career in the bank? ' 'There's money in it'

'I'm a self-made man!'

'. . . and 14% said they didn't own a TV set, although I could hear it in the background!'

'Thank you for verifying your name for us, Doug. We're going to start with some multiple choice questions.'

Black belts in the ancient art of avoidance

Clancy:Survey Question

Psychometric tests would weed out 25% of all applicants (medical schools).