Quarterly Report Mugs

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

Beware of the 4th quarter.

"I asked Bill to accompany this presentation with something in a haunting minor key."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

Work Parfait

"I hate performance review season."

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

The Salesman

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

"We've had a major development this year that I'm excited to share with the employees."

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

Business is off the chart.

Soaring Profits

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."

'Why so tense? First appraisal meeting?'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

"It's swings and roundabouts – one goes up the other goes down."

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

Sales Chart Through Ceiling