Quality Time Pillows

'Enough is enough, John! You've got to choose. It's either your job or me.'

"Look, I'm doing a little me-time right now. Why don't you go ahead and do a little you-time, and then I'll be over at eight for a little us-time."

'Golf is Life (his).'

Hey, Rudy, I hear you've got the day off on Wednesday. What's it to you? I thought we'd hang out together. Say it again? Just the two of us, hanging out, doing some shopping, spending quality time. Sorry, I must have something wrong with my hearing. It'll be fun. You little @#$%. Commit! What's your game, you old bat?!

Give Up Your TV

'Let's have a quiet romantic evening together...we'll turn our cell phones off.'

"He wants to know if you can come out and play."

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

'Why can't I spend more quality time with the TV set?'

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

'Jack wants to stay home and rad books, and I wanted him to take up roller skating, so we compromised.'

'I do! Someone else should cook! Drive!'

'We don't spend enough time together, son. Ever thought of becoming a caddy?'

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

I like the Jets...I guess

"They grow up so fast."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"She's been so creative lately."

No caption (A young bald eagle plays a claw game full of fish as his parent stands behind him).

Haircuts

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

'You and Rags working together make great dinosaur finders.'

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

'She's just great with the children.'

"Is she breastfeeding in public?! That's disgusting!"

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

Photographer Phone: 'Okay everybody, SMILE!'