Quality Time Pillows

'Enough is enough, John! You've got to choose. It's either your job or me.'

"Look, I'm doing a little me-time right now. Why don't you go ahead and do a little you-time, and then I'll be over at eight for a little us-time."

'Golf is Life (his).'

Give Up Your TV

'Let's have a quiet romantic evening together...we'll turn our cell phones off.'

"He wants to know if you can come out and play."

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

'Why can't I spend more quality time with the TV set?'

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

'Jack wants to stay home and rad books, and I wanted him to take up roller skating, so we compromised.'

'I do! Someone else should cook! Drive!'

'We don't spend enough time together, son. Ever thought of becoming a caddy?'

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

I like the Jets...I guess

"They grow up so fast."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"She's been so creative lately."

Haircuts

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

'You and Rags working together make great dinosaur finders.'

'She's just great with the children.'

"Is she breastfeeding in public?! That's disgusting!"

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"