Purrfect Drink Server Pillows

"Has someone forgotten the cucumber slice and lemon wedge in my spring water again, Edna?"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I make it myself!"

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

Harvey went to the kitchen to top up his gin and tonic. When he came back, things took an unexpected turn.

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

California Beverages Map

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

Complaints Desk

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

'Shaken, not stirred.'

'Another martini please.'

'You brought me a drink last night Dad.I reckon it's MY round tonight!'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

"Can you recommend a suitable white wine to drink with my red wine?"

"So, it's decided, the party will be on the tenth and BYO drinks as usual..."

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

"Bring us your dustiest bottle of wine."

"We recommend red wine with mice and white wine with birds."

'I think it's time we left...'

You can never over garnish!

"What wine would you recommend to compliment stony silence?"

"This wine is CORKED!"

"It's an agreeable little wine."

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

'Hi, Dad! We were going to set up the lemonade stand you suggested, but then Jamie got an even better idea!'

"Okay, let's see ... vintage ... vintage ... "

"Whiskey and splash coming up!"

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

"I don't care if it's forty years old and has a good body! I'm trying to get pissed, not date it!"

"A pox on your house red."