Purchasing First Home T-Shirts

'It was the only palce we could get for less than ?100,000.'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

Your Future Home.

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

"In the current market, it's just more practical."

I'm looking forward tot he day we can afford some real statues for this place.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

The native sweet bay species will make a beautiful grove. They'll give you pleasure and increase your house value! Tree's tree nursery. Hmm

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'I've no time for these foragers - they come into the area and snap up all the best houses...'

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

"I think I picked the wrong spot to plant that apple tree."

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.