Puppy School Pillows

"Wow, the Puppy School curriculum has changed a lot since we were there: canine history, bone-burying record keeping, farting etiquette. . ."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"Not a bad list kiddo, but I know them all! I've told you it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks..."

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'

Balloon dog training

Pet owner hanging Obedience School diploma

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

Dogs Bring Slippers.

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

'Ears up - wag that tail - soulful expression - he is YOURS!'

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

'He's a son-of-a-bitch but he's our son-of-a-bitch!'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

"Not until you fetch the other one."

'Forget about your pride Son: We're expected to beg...'

"Sit!"

"I'd like to help him, but honestly I have no idea who the good boy is."

"I said SLIPPERS!"

'Quick! 'Tushy to the ground' stance!'

"This is the 'pet project' I was telling you about."

'First you fetch their slippers and then you chew them up -- it's called the 'good dog-bad dog' system.'

Discipline at Doggy School

"Loyalty is a quality that people have lost, but dogs have kept."

"I can't believe I'd been carrying them in my mouth."